The Cry for Dreams

This is the start of my life... and my biggest curse.

The Cry for Love

I cannot find it, from this reality...

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laupäev, 29. märts 2014

The cry for existence

I know i'm not alone on this one. I constantly think we are living in a ... i don't know. Something that's not actually real. I hate being limited, thus have only 1-2 rules.

And this is connected to "Cry for love" and to "Cry for dreams".

Time goes past, yet nothing seems to change. I feel like an immortal, who has been cursed to live forever to simply observe humanity. I hate it. I cannot bring myself to live like others. I cannot stay blind like others. Even if i try, i get a slap across my face.

Whoever will read this, i will tell you something about life and death. Of your consciousness in overall.
Ask yourself this: "What kills people?" What do you think? Alcohol, drugs and other various things? No. It's the loss of consciousness. You become less conscious of what, where, when and why. There's an easy test to see if you die soon. Can you remember your dreams? No? There you have it. In that case, you shall die fairly soon. Let me explain.
Dreams are an important factor of your life, no matter how you watch it. Dreams symbolize your awareness, the true YOU. Alcohol serves the same purpose. It can show you persons true self. If you can control your dreams, you can control your life and death, but it will be much more difficult if you are about to die. How?
Lemme answer this one with a question. "Have you ever had an OBE (out-of-body-experience)?" No, i'm guessing? Well, these are the things you will experience on one. Sleep paralysis -> Getting sucked into a state of pure darkness -> Unbearable ringing in "ears" (+fear) -> Silence -> Waking up in another place.

SP or sleep paralysis is actually a defense mechanism for when you dream. It's that you wouldn't do stupid things while thinking you are somewhere else. Normally, this state can be easily broken.
After you get this weird feeling (your mind goes really clear), you start to get sucked into this state. When you are, it's nearly impossible to move your body. I've tested several times, and all i was capable was to rise my hand 20cm at most.
Once you enter this state completely, you can wake up normally, but if your will doesn't, you will be sucked back. I did it as a test to see what would happen if i would almost leave the state. I got sucked back. So remember, YOU MUST WANT TO COME BACK. Otherwise, it won't work.
After that, you shall experience complete clarity in your mind.
Then comes this ringing. It's similar to tinnitus, but with a small exception. The ringing is so loud that it feels like your head is about to blow up. Don't worry, it shall not. I and few others have tested this already. The things that you experience there, will have no effect on your physical body.
If you happen to somehow be able to bypass this, you will end up in some other location... that of course depending on where you want to be. Where your will wants to be. Also, remember that everything works the way it works in dreams. If you think of negative, it shall be so. If you think some monster will come to get you, it will. You have to control your fears and desires. You and ONLY YOU will have to make decisions. There are lots of entities that may want to deceive you, so think rationally.

Here's something else interesting. We were born by only remembering from certain age right? Right. But what if the bodies are only containers until then and when we die, we "wake up" suddenly, with no memory of who or what we are. What if dying is just moving into a new container with no memory due to the link to our bodies, being cut? We still do remember certain things, since those are etched to our souls.

I think that's enough thinking for you today.

reede, 24. jaanuar 2014

A fond dream of mine

"I am at a night club (i hate any rowdy place). There was this kid, alone. She didn't cry. Just stared at people dancing. I felt as she felt as being abandoned.
I was sitting on a couch, thinking how stupid that is... people just shaking their bodies for no apparent reason (since there are easier ways of self-expressing). Then that kid approaches me, sits on my lap, throws her arms around me and takes a nap. I kinda froze there, probably red from the face. Yet strangely, it felt really .... good. It felt as all my problems dissolved. It felt as she was resonating with me.
 This went on for quite the while... or maybe it just felt like that. Some time later, a former classmate comes and asks the girl something.... i couldn't hear over the chatter and music, but what i did hear was something that totally shocked me.

The guy asked:"Hey, you OK?" The girl replied:"Yes, but he (me) isn't.".

The girl was rather young, yet was capable of reading me like clear water. The guy went back to dancing and she continued napping."




Translated to Estonian:

Ma olen ööklubis (ma vihkan kohti kus on palju lärmi). Seal oli üks tüdruk (nais soost), üksi. Ta ei nutnud. Ta lihtsalt vaatas kuidas inimesed tantsivad. Mulle tundus, nagu teda hüljatakse.
Ma istusin diivanil, mõeldes, kui mõttetu see on... inimesed lihtsalt raputavad oma kehasi, mitte millegi pärast (on paremaid eneseväljendamis viise). Järsku, see tüdruk kõnnib minu poole, istub mu põlvedele, viskab käed ümber mu õlgade ja jääb magama. Ma jäätusin, arvatavasti punane näost, kuid imelikult, tundus see väga... hea. Tundus kui kõik mu probleemid sulasid... nagu ta resoneerus minuga.
Aeg möödus ... või tundus vähemalt nii. Natuke aega hiljem, tuli üks mu vanadest klassikaaslastest ja küsis tüdrukult midagi. Ma ei kuulnud üle inimeste juttu ega muusika, kuid mida ma kuulsin, shokeeris mind.

Mees küsis:"Kas kõik korras?", millele tüdruk vastas:"Jah, aga tema (mina), ei ole."

Tüdruk oli küllalt noor, kuid oskas näha minust läbi nagu puhas vesi. Mees läks tagasi tantsima ja tüdruk magama.